Saturday, 23 September 2017
Slowly got back together
It has taken a while but it looks as though we are back as a couple, my wife and I.
I have surfaced from the depression, which she helped me through, and there seems to be a sunny side to our life once more.
She tried her best with guile and charm to bring me back from the abyss but one thing she said she would not do was to use discipline.
She made it plain that she was tired of the submissive role I wanted and the spankings and the whipping and that she wanted straight forward loving from me, for a long while at least.
(That rejection after so many years of playing together initially contributed more to my depression, as I believed that BDSM and the spanking scene was a fundamental part of me.)
So, according to her rules, if I wanted to stay married I had to learn to live without the excitement and thrill and tummy stirring in a threat of the cane or paddle across my bottom.
For a trial separation, I left our home for about three months and lived on my own in a small rented property and tried to give up drink and took long walks in the country. That seemed to help get my head straight. I met a divorcee in a local pub and that's another story but I didn't stray sexually. (Close thing though)
S, my wife, and I got together occasionally and we met at weekends on neutral territory and talked a lot. Latterly we rented a room in a small hotel in a market town and we stayed away from being in the same bed and booked a twin bedded room.
As we started to feel closer we experimented with tantric sex. My wife had downloaded some demo videos on her lap top and we tried to follow them. Interestingly we did a lot of giggling which seemed to help just as much as the touchy-feely tantric sex stuff. For quite a few years now I hadn't been able to get an erection that lasts and S thought that tantric sex might help.
I developed quite a skill at giving her orgasms with the palm of my hand and she excited me just by finger touching.
After a while we found we had spent one or two days together enjoying each others company just like the old days. I avoided any mention of spanking.
We gotback to just meeting up and seeing where things went. We also did quite a bit of car park fondling, just like teenagers.
One day my wife called me and said it was time I should come home, with a few conditions attached.
I had to take more exercise and keep off the drink because she thought that had been affecting my brain in some way and making me impossible to live with.
I agreed and moved back home last month.
(My wife had told friends and family that I was away working on a long term work project).
We are trying to have some sort of sexual contact every alternate day. No matter what time it is or how tired one of us feels we are engaging in at least ten minutes of touching and caressing each others body.
S is using her heart to try to regain my mind.