Images and content

Any copyright images or content displayed here will removed on request. Thanks.

Sunday, 21 July 2013

FLR thoughts

Mistress Ivey asks in a recent post on her blog , "FLR or Mistress?"

She comments that many women might want to get into Female Led Relationship, but that they do necessarily  want to the "kinky stuff".

So, Mistress Ivey goes on to enquire from us males whether we are just doing the submissive bit in order to have more fun sex and satisfy our kinky side?

How many men, Mistress asks, would accept an FLR if the sex did not change? In other words, are we men looking for their partner to take charge of things or are we really wanting more sex or some kink in sex?

For me, the FLR would not work without the punishment and spanking that would result from not doing what I was asked. I am not searching for the rubber and leather aspects of kink but I do get a lot of satisfaction and pleasure from having my bottom whipped or caned.

My masochism is part of my sexuality, there is no getting around that. Why the wires in the cortex of my brain are connected to a pain stimulus in the nerve cells of my bottom  I have no idea, but they are and I have never been able to get spanking out of my sex life.

I suppose the internet released all these issues about FLRs and made it a lifestyle choice. Before you might have had husbands who were just dominated by their wives and had a miserable partnership as a result.As more and more people chat on the net about their desires and wishes so eventually a phrase comes into common useage and lifestyle adopters appear all over the globe.

My own FLR was going swimmingly between about 2000 and this year. I was content to be an alpha male in theoutside world and a submissive at home. I needed the discipline and yes the role play had a stimulating effect on my sex drive.

In recent times my wife seems to have wanted to drop the whole business of spanking and caning me and the FLR has dissolved. It may be rescuable but I fear not. I am continuing to be helpful submissive around the house. I

t has crossed my mind that because I have not had steady work for 6 months or so then my wife may have lost respect for me as a provider and is no longer inclined to motivate me.

This blog went over the 400000 page views recently so I guess there must be some people interested enough to take a look. Strangely enough, given my recent state of mind, the topmost page viewed has been
Spanking therapy for depression. It wasn't even a very long post. Maybe I should start a clinic and apply for European funding?

Encouragingly on the writing side, the second most view page has been a Sunday spanklet-Bedroom capers

Anyway, I have been thinking of getting back to writing as a means of expressing myself so now I have to sit down and get some stories on paper. It will be a test of self discipline, even if I am not doing it on a hot bottom.

Nice to see that summer is here, for a while at least.
Have fun and see you soon.


  1. I read her recent post. I agree that an FLR must contain kink for it to interest me.


  2. I relate to that yearning to be dommed that you hint at Although You seem pretty relaxed about the withdrawal of spanking. is that right? is it resignation? is it that you value your lady more than the kink. Sorry to be nosey. I just know how I get more grumpy and tense as the days and weeks build up between spankings. I am anything but relaxed about it. I become more and more of a grumpy shit to be around.

  3. If you havent had regular work then I assume money has been tight. My wife withdrew all 'fun and games' when money was short. Not seemingly intentionally but because she was worried about things. Since i have resumed regular work, spankings have resumed.

  4. Just discovered your site while reading Strictjuliespanks.

    I was a stealth submissive for my vanilla wife, but it doesn't work. It was like a kink-free FLR and there was little incentive. Voluntary chastity didn't help, either. The sex drive has disappeared. Without the kink, what's the point?



Look forward to your comments. It is nice to get feedback.